AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR ALL AUSTRALIANS
FREE AS AIR?
Then who's picking up the tab?
That old expression "free as air" might have been OK in our great-grandparents' day. But it's way off target in the sustainability-conscious 21st century when a a bigger population means air resources have to be stretched much further.
Like any other commodity, air has to be paid for. As another old saying goes, it doesn't grow on trees.
That's why your Federal Government is bringing in an air consumption levy for all Australians.
How does it work? Simple. You pay for the air you breathe. You don't pay for the air you don't breathe.
All air consumers will get an aerometer. That's a machine for measuring air. Most people will pay as little as $1499.00* for this invaluable little gizmo. Pensioners will pay less than half that.
Paying for the air itself will be as easy as, well, breathing. We've worked out a generous standard quota for normal respiration. Heavy breathers will pay a slightly more. **
We reckon that the cost for the average air consumer will work out at something under 99 cents per breath. That's a fantastic bargain when you think what could happen to the world if we don't act now.
By controlling air exhalations we're striking a blow for cleaner air. Not to mention reducing all that carbon dioxide in the atmosphere that risks turning the earth into a fireball.
Your aerometer will help you too. You'll feel better about taking up space in the environment when you know you're not polluting it as much. And your aerometer will help you save money. Computer modelling shows that with controlled air supply people use less air than before. They hold their breath longer and get more out of each inhalation. Sometimes they burst and find that from then on they can do without air altogether. That's a real saving.
AIR. GIVE YOURSELF A LUNGFUL.
This announcement has been authorised by your new air managers FlanneryAir Pty Ltd in association with the Australian Government. It has been paid for by you.
* Includes GST and Carbon Tax adjustments. Installation extra.
** Rate Card available. Telephone breathers pay 25% surcharge.
ENJOY AIR IN MODERATION
24 February 2012
Posted by ACJ Akehurst